• Devotions

    Unseen

    My mind was still that morning.

    A heaviness had swept over me.

    For as long as I can remember, the day before my birthday I have always spent time reflecting.

    Snapshots of the year’s events, places and people playing like a movie in my mind as my heart expresses some form of gratitude for these gifts.

    But the older I get, there is a noticeable difference in the snapshots.

    There are people missing,

    Maybe that is why yesterday I struggled to quiet my thoughts.

    As thankful as I am for all of the wonderful people God has placed in my life, there is still a void from the ones who are no longer here.

    I long for those conversations around the table with my parents.

    Talking about the day’s events, or reminiscing about past ones.

    My emotions dance beneath the surface of a smile.

    Knowing that they could erupt at any moment,  I say nothing and look out the window.

    If my husband noticed that I was unusually quiet on the way to church, he did not question it.

    He filled the silence with small talk until we pulled into the parking lot.

    These days, when my heart is heavy, I prefer to fly under the radar unseen.

    But I am never not seen.

    As the service ended, a couple asked us to join them for breakfast.

    Full of love and life, they are the parents of another friend of ours who happened to be away.

    It was not until we were at the table having conversations about family and the day’s events that I truly saw the provision.

    Conversations around the table with parents.

    “I see you,” He whispers.

    He provided exactly what my heavy heart needed at that moment.

    And to the couple who answered the nudge to extend the invitation for breakfast, you were a part of answered prayer that morning.

    Thank you.

    God shows us in His Word that He is a God who sees us.

    Hagar had a heavy heart.

    She felt alone after she conceived a child with Abram, at the direction of Saria, his wife.

    Mistreated, this Egyptian slave decided to flee from her mistress.

    But God saw her in her distress.

    He sent an angel to her.

    Provision.

    “The angel of the Lord found Hagar near a spring in the desert; it was the spring that is beside the road to Shur. 

    And he said, “Hagar, slave of Sarai, where have you come from, and where are you going?”

    “I’m running away from my mistress Sarai,” she answered.

    Then the angel of the Lord told her, “Go back to your mistress and submit to her.” 

    The angel added, “I will increase your descendants so much that they will be too numerous to count.” Genesis 16: 7-10 NIV

    Hagar recognized the provision. She knew that she had been seen by God, and gave a new name to Him: El Roi.

    “She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.”  Genesis 16: 13 NIV

    He provided exactly what her heavy heart needed at that moment.

    Do you ever feel unseen? 

    That no one notices the feelings that dance beneath the surface of your smile?

    Friends, there is One who always sees you.

    Can you see the provision He has placed in your life?

    My prayer is that you see it today.

  • Devotions

    Lifting Yourself Up When You are Weighted Down

    For those few days, all I could feel was the weight on my chest.

    Though not visible, its presence was undeniable.

    I felt like I could not lift myself up.

    Curled up on the couch, my mind spun in different directions.

    There was only one place I knew I could process the hurt and sort through the questions.

    One place where I could sit with the uncomfortable feelings for a while.

    In His Presence.

    There was only one place where I could look for a model of what to do next.

    One place where I could be reminded that I needed to forgive, because forgiveness has been given to me so many times.

    In His Word.

    And after a few days, when the chaos in my mind had begun to settle, an image was placed in front of me once again reminding me that God sees me.

    He also knows that I tend to be a visual learner.

    I forced myself to go to the gym, put on my praise music and hopped on my favorite elliptical.

    As I found a rhythm with my steps, my gaze and thoughts shifted to my right to see a man pulling himself up on a bar.

    You will never be able to do that.

    You do not have enough strength.

    Then my eyes moved to the belt around his waist.

    Attached to the belt were chains on either side, with a weight secured in the center.

    The weight looked heavy.

    Yet he kept lifting himself up.

    Over and over again.

    This was the question that played over in my mind: 

    How can you lift yourself up when you are weighted down?

    1. Prepare to bear to weight.

    It is hard to imagine that this man could have lifted himself up at all, let alone with a weight attached to him, had he not trained to do so.

    He prepared to pull himself up.

    The path we walk will not always be a smooth one.

    Some of the weights we bear will be visible, others will not.

    But in His Word, God tells us we will all have difficulties.

    And He gives us the hope that we can overcome them.

    “I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”  John 16:33 NIV

    Knowing that at some point we will have troubles shouldn’t we prepare ahead?

    We do that by the daily practice of being in His Presence and in His Word.

    1. Sit with it- but don’t stay with it.

    I did not know the when or the why of the troubles that would come.

    But I did know this:

    There was only one place I knew I could process the hurt and sort through the questions.

    One place where I could sit with the uncomfortable feelings for a while.

    In His Presence.

    God stayed with me as I sorted through the “yuck.”  

    When it was time to lift myself up, I still felt unsteady.

    The enemy loves to take the opportunity to get in our ear at our low points.

     You will never be able to do that. 

    You do not have enough strength.

    But God reminds us that it is not our strength that He uses to move us forward.

    “ I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.”  Philippians 4:13 NIV

    1. Forgive 

    Whether hurts are intentional or not, forgiveness is not always something that comes easily.

    We may need to forgive others or ourselves.

    But God tells us forgiveness is necessary.

    He cannot do His part if we do not do ours.

    “In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can’t get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God’s part.”  Matthew 6:15 MSG

    1. Have a grateful heart

    Those days of sitting with my circumstances were not easy.

    But God wants us to give thanks in all circumstances.

    I was never alone.

    Even in my raw emotions, I was loved and seen by the Creator of the Universe. 

    For that, I am incredibly grateful.

    “ Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.  1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 ESV

    Friends, I do not know what is weighing you down today.

    Maybe it is visible to others, maybe it is only visible to God.

    But there is One who will sit with you in your despair, give you strength to pull yourself up, and show you the way to move forward.

    And He will love you through it all.

    That is something to be grateful for always.

    We are never alone, never unloved.

    Praise be!