God2Share

They were a tangled mess.
How did that happen so quickly?
My headphones were in knots.
The cord looked like a pile of spaghetti noodles.
Would I be able to listen to my music if they were that twisted?
Would I be able to hear?

Looking at this tangled mess, I began to reflect on my own thoughts.
One minute, they are clear, confident, focused.
And then in what seems like a nanosecond, chaos takes over.
My thoughts are unsteady, uncertain, all over the place.
Just like that tangled mess.
How did I get here so quickly?

One minute I am confident in who I am and Whose I am, praising Him.
The next minute I am anxious and fearful, wondering if I matter at all.

Have you ever felt like that?

On a good day, I can stop that train before it ever leaves the station.
I do not let those thoughts penetrate my heart or my mind. 
I strike back quickly with the “sword of truth” …
“I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14) or “If God can be for you, who can be against you?” (Romans 8:31). I have a little come to Jesus meeting in my head and say “not today, Satan, not today.”

But then there are those other days when it takes longer for me to pick up the sword. I don’t even realize that I am under attack. When I let my guard down, it is easy for the lies to chip away at my confidence. Doubt begins to penetrate my thoughts.

My trigger word is enough. My thoughts become twisted, just like the cord.
“You don’t do enough.” “You aren’t a good enough mother, wife, friend…” The list goes on and on. Before I know it, I am far away from who I am and more focused on who I think I should be.

Dear sisters, this is the very distraction that pulls us away from the One who gave us life.
If we are too busy trying to be everything to everyone, trying to measure up, we forget we are already everything to Him. We become like that tangled mess. And when are thoughts are a tangled mess, it becomes harder to hear His truth.

In my head and heart, I know this. And when it happens for the up-teenth time, I always come back to the same question: how did I get here again? How can I keep from coming back?

The answer is simple-spend more time with Him and in the Word. Jesus went off on His own to spend time with the Father. He needed the comfort and wisdom of God over the clamoring of the crowd. Sisters, we need that same time to curl up in our Father’s lap to remind us who we are. I pray that each of us takes the time to spend with Him daily.

Now, to untie that cord…..

My thoughts raced.

Surgery? Today?

No driving for a few weeks? Right before school starts and in the middle of the boys practices and games?

I was already missing a day’s worth of activities, Open House for my 10th grader and Supper Club for our breast cancer survivors.

I am not sure what made me feel more anxious: the thought of the eye surgery or not being able to be mobile for weeks.

Focus, I said to myself quietly.

I took a deep breath and did the only thing I could do in that moment: I prayed.

And then I texted friends to pray for me.

I still was not crazy about the notion of someone sticking anything in my eye (and no, I do not wish to stay awake for this procedure…thank you very much), but I felt a familiar calm wash over me. I was able to make a few calls to get the boys situated and to my husband who would meet me at the hospital.

I have been here before, I thought. This time I know what to do.

I will ask for help.

I need help because I can’t do this alone.

That sentence seems so simple, but it is one that often makes some of us feel defeated, like we are less.
Isn’t it ironic that we all want to feel needed, but we don’t want to need anyone?

But God never intended for any of us to walk alone.

1 Thessalonians 5: 11 : So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.

I believe there is a piece missing in this verse. In addition to encouraging and lifting others up, we need to accept at times we must be on the receiving end of that command.
I could not be an encourager had I not been encouraged by others. Helping others means that I must also learn to accept help.

My first go around with a significant health problem, the last thing I wanted to do was ask anyone for help.
I thought I was strong willed enough to get through whatever I needed to do.
I was always the helper, not the one who needed help.

What do they say about pride?

God gave me a strong dose of reality with a serving of humble pie.

You need help because you cannot do this alone.

And God, who is so good, showed me that I was definitely not alone.

I was reminded daily with calls, cards, texts and meals.

Letting others help was a little like playing tug of war. I had to learn to let go and not pull back when others offered to help.

Now after eye surgery, my sight is not clear but my focus is sharp.

I can say, “I need help because I can’t do this alone.”

I no longer see my need for help as a flaw in my character, but rather focus on the blessing of having people around me who are willing to cook a meal or give rides to my kids.

Once again, God has reminded me that being too busy makes me lose sight of needing time to be still in His presence as well as needing to be present in the lives of others.

I thank Him for never losing sight of me.